Mind Plague
by Zarichka
Summary: What does thou do when thou finds thy book on thy shelf? In Emil's case, you start scribbling in it about someone who's always plaguing your mind like a disease and name the book 'Mr. Book Thingy'. Yup, because that's how it works. Rated T for an unknown reason. (May change title.)
1. On the Shelf

_Month XX, Day XX, Year 2013_

_Hello, little empty book thing that I have found on the shelf._

_I'm Emil. Obviously._

_Whether you like it or not, I will begin to write in you, Mr. Book. Why? Because no matter what my crappy brother says, I am NOT a child. There for, I may do whatever I want whenever I want. For example, write in you. Deal with it._

_It's not like you really have a choice since you technically aren't alive. But that begs the question why am I talking to an inanimate object? Well I shall blame it on the possible chance of insanity. Which I blame on Kaoru. I guess it's only formal to introduce myself as your master, Mr. Book thingy. Why am I being formal to an object that can't communicate? Because it's very adulty-ish. Yes I do make up my own vocabulary. And no it's not in any way childlike. Anyways back to me. Ehem…_

_Name: Haven't we been through this already? My name is Emil. Not Emily, Emil-chan, Icey, Little Brother or any other crappy pet names you could possibly think of. I will not tolerate them. I already hear enough of these from my brother Lukas, his crappy friend Matthias, and Kaoru. You, my newly found diciple may call me Amazing Writing Master, Mr. Emil-Sama the Great, Great Magnificent Owner… are these too long? Well fine, just call me Emil, you lazy little piece of crap._

_Appearance: Awesome. Or at least that's what Kaoru states. I will just leave you with this description because I believe that such a vivid portrayal of myself hits all my finer points. Also because I'm not one for bragging. Let's move along shall we?_

_Attitude: …I don't have an attitude. What were you expecting? Go away…_

_Age: Um… personal space please. But yeah I'm 17._

_Height: 5'2…_

_Weight: Stalker much, Mr. Book?_

_Dis-Likes: As a know-nothing notebook, you're probably wondering why I wrote 'dis' in front of the word 'likes' correct? Well it's because I can think of more dislikes than likes from the top of my head. My main dislikes are: pet names, horrible cooking/cooking skills, being called cute, when birds talk too much, saying 'Big Brother', Danish people, Norwegian people who like cute things, people who are too depressed, people who are too happy, Asian people who are really touchy-feely, people that dislike licorice… let's shorten this list up with just 'annoying people?' Sure why not._

_Dis__likes: I had to cross out 'dis' because I already wrote my dislikes. My likes include: licorice, bow ties (don't judge me), Puffins (sometimes), auroras. I'll end this list here._

_I could probably add more to this but I'll do that later. Actually I really don't know what I should write about- KAORU STOP READING MY BOOK. Sorry, I honestly don't know how he keeps getting into my house- KAORU LEAVE MR. PUFFIN ALONE. Ugh, whatever I'll just have to ignore him for now while I think about what to write- KAORU, NO FIRECRACKERS IN MY HOUSE. …You know what? I'll just write about that. I mean sure why not write about all the crap that makes up my best friend? I don't care if you think I'm girly; I own you, Mr. Book, so you have waaayyy more to be a shamed about. Besides there's no way he'll ever read you. Since he barely reads much besides manga._

_Now… what am I going to title you? Since there's no way in hell that I'm going to write 'Mr. Book' on you cover. Because that would contradict my statement of 'Not being a child'. Well let's see. I could call you… No, but how about… Uh, maybe… No that's a crappy title… You know what? Screw this; I'm going to go make myself some brioche and licorice._

_~Emil (Your master)._

* * *

I'm ALIVE. Sorry about the few updates, I have a hectic life filled with personal shit. Like school.

Anyways, I'm starting this little journal drabble thing so most entries will be short from here on out... Maybe. Anyways, this is just Emil's POV on being around his best friend*crush* who's a complete psychotic pyro. Yeah... deal with it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Never will.


	2. Say Cheese, I Think

_Month XX, Day X2, Year 2013_

_Hello, nice to see you again, Mr. Book Creature/Thing/Whatever._

_How have I been? I've been better, thanks for asking. Oh and about Friday, sorry about the torn pages. Mr. Puffin gets really greedy when choosing his liter papers. I guess he's not the newspaper kind of bird. Feisty little creature isn't he? Anyways since I am back, I shall return to writing in you. What was my topic again? Oh right. Kaoru… Where oh where to begin… Excuse me as I choose a random idea to start my writing on while killing my brain cells in the process. Okay uh… He loves posing for cameras when I'm around. Yeah that's the first weird thing I noticed about him. If you judge me I WILL rip out more pages to give to my bird. But I'm not lying when I say that he has a weird fascination with getting his picture taken with me._

_I've always thought it was beyond strange though. Photos, videos, etc. seem like such a waste…_

"Hey!" Emil looked up as a female student, Elizabeta, yelled across the room and pounced on some unsuspecting prey. In this case it was non-other than the new kid. He was some foreign boy from some Asian country as far as Iceland knew and arrived a few days ago though today was his first day at school. Emil dropped his head back to his book. Unfortunately this new kid had absolutely no idea of all the rules of this school, Gakuen High School. First and Foremost:

1. Avoid Kiku and Elizabeta, because they WILL try to take an embarrassing picture of you. Even If it means stalking you. Into the bathroom.

Emil inwardly cringed. Yeah, he had to learn that the hard way, because, yes, somehow Elizabeta disguised herself as a dude and invaded the boy's bathroom. Just to take his picture. While he was on the toilet. And for him, it was a cold day in hell. Then again, there were WAY more rules then that, for example-

2. Do NOT, under ANY circumstance, let Arthur join the cooking team. Or be in range of a kitchen. Because the whole school will, without a doubt, EX-freaking-PLODE.

Once again, Emil had learned this rule the hard way and ended up having his face go from pale to ash black and his hair turn into charcoal on his first day. Anyways, he had been the most recent new kid so this would be his first time watching someone else fail all the rules. He could almost pity the transfer student. Almost. He glanced up as Elizabeta nonchalantly chatted about something while secretly inching her hand closer to her pocket to whip out her camera. At first, Emil simply watched her hand get closer and closer to her pocket while her leg slowly slid closer to the new kids shoes. It suddenly hit Emil. She was going to trip him then take the picture. Knowing Elizabeta, this was normal. Whether to show affection or hatred, she was always tripping people. Truth be told, it actually hurt like hell. Considering that they were in a class room and the floor was tiled, this would be exceptionally true. Emil watched and analyzed deeply. The pair were right in front of Emil's desk so he could hear bits of Eliza's splattering of words at the transfer who simply stared back at her. Since he was now fully paying attention, Emil looked over the other teen. He was near Emil's age, had somewhat blank emotionless eyes that were a calm chocolate milk color, and black hair that looked extremely soft to the touch. It's not like Emil was checking him out or anything, he was just… um… conceptualizing? Yeah, he decided to call it that. Anyways, he kept his eyes trained on Eliza's hand and counting downward in his head for the time of striking.

3…

"And then I was like 'No you didn't, bitch!' and she was all like 'Oh yes, I did'!" Eliza continued blabbering nonsense to distract him while her fingers grazed the edge of her personalized camera.

2…

Elizabeta stopped talking as a smirk danced on her lips. She completely wrapped her fingers around the little device and yanked her hand out of her pocket.

1…

Eliza swept her leg towards his to trip him but at the last second, he jumped. In fact he jumped so high that he landed on to Emil's desk on his knee. Emil sat in shock for a couple seconds. Eliza, surprised and mildly annoyed, didn't let that stop her as she launched her hand up to her face. Once her hand was steady enough she clicked the button. Just before the clicking sound rang through his ears, he felt his hair being yanked forwards and a small portion of warmth against the side of his face. A small click filled the room and he was temporarily blinded. The second it was all over he was lightly pushed back into his seat. Reflexively, he brought his own hand up to touch his face where he'd felt the contact. Elizabeta studied the picture she'd collected. By now everyone's eyes were focused on the scene happening in the front of the class room. When he was finally able to see what the device had captured, he also just stared. In the picture, teens stared straight into the camera, the other boy was slightly smiling, Emil not so much, but for the most part it wasn't bad. Their faces were slightly touching but not much. His arm was draped around Emil's shoulders so naturally so that all in all, it would have looked like they were actually friends had Emil not had such a surprised look on his face and not turned dark red at the last second. He couldn't help but stare at the other boy's smile. When he first came to school and up until now, he hadn't showed much emotion if any at all and for some reason his smile brightened up the photo in a way. When Emil looked up from the photo he flinched at Elizabeta's glare towards him. She then went on about how he ruined her streak of 50 'good' pictures in a row, but Emil tuned out and rested his hand against his cheek still curious about the feeling. The teacher walked in not long after so they had to take their seats. All throughout class he kept feeling little tremors when he touched the side of his face. At the end of class, for some reason he felt the need to walked straight up to the boy that caused his weird discovery. Before he could ask himself why, he found himself stuttering in said boy's glaze.

"H-h-hey." He said though his voice went up at the end making it sound more like a question.

"'Sup?" The other teen said while casually sitting up on his desk.

"Not much…" There was a moment of silence before the other boy spoke up.

"Emil, right? Hey, I'm Kaoru." He introduced before flicking his hair from his eyes.

"Hey." Emil responded, not sure how to continue the conversation.

"About this morning-" Kaoru began before leaning his face in closer that necessary. He smirked as Emil drew back a tiny bit "-thanks for lending me the looks." He finished before ruffling his hair and leaving the class room. It eventually became an everyday thing. Every time someone wanted to take Kaoru's picture, he always had to have Emil in it with him. He also always made some weird hand sign. At first this happened twice but soon it grew and became something throughout the rest of their school years together.

_…Damn, camera ninja. Well, I must run now. Literally. Matthias is visiting and I should probably go jump out my bedroom window by now. Until next time, Mr. Book Thingy._

_~Emil_

* * *

This was more fun than I thought~

Anyways here's the next chapter read or whatever. Yeah, long and crappy, I know. Wow, sounds like the definition of my life... Just kidding.

Disclaimer: Never, nope, nota, not gonna happen, absoluetly not. I won't ever own anything.


	3. Bad Role Model? Nope

Sup. Yeah, I haven't really gotten time to post stuff because of school. Seventh grade sure ain't fun. The sad irony about this chapter is that I wrote it the day after Valentine's Day yet I couldn't post it till Easter. Anyways, enjoy~

* * *

_Month XX, Day X3, Year 2013_

_Hello, Mr. Book Thingy._

_Guess who's back? Back again? Emil's back, tell a friend. Kidding, but yeah I have a song stuck in my head. I blame Matthias since he and his friends, The Bad Touch Trio, invaded my house with a boom box last night. I was going to jump out the window and found a pleasant surprise. And by pleasant I mean total shit. The window had been nailed down to its sill. Twenty-FREAKING-four times. By Norwegian nails. Not just Norwegian nails but a Norwegian brand of Norwegian nails that's for "Child Safety Precautions". So basically… my overly protective Norwegian stereotyped Norwegian brother nailed down my window Norwegian style with Norwegian nails. Norception. Love to hear you say that fifteen times fast. As I'm sure you can tell, it wasn't fun. I had to stay locked in my closet and try not to get groped for the rest of the night._

_Why exactly were these weirdoes breaking my house you may ask, Mr. Book Thing. I shall answer; because it was the day after Single's Awareness Day. No, not Valentine's Day. Single's Awareness Day- making the lonely feel even more lonely. Actually, even though I describe the holiday as such, I wasn't alone this year. Nor was I last year, but that's a story for some other time that I feel like making these gay-ass updates. Back to my life, I wasn't alone this year and I actually had a good time. Oh here's a bit of advice for you: NEVER COMBINE DRINKING AND ICE SKATING. Yeah, I wasn't that drunk… maybe just a LITTLE bit tipsy… Okay fine, I fell through the ice but cold showers can be healthy! Notice the big and bulky emphasis on the words CAN BE._

_In a nutshell me, Kaoru (le fucking topic), Um… MATHIEU! (Oh yeah! That's his name!), and a bunch of other students all went up north after school to go ice skating and play a bit of hockey. Never thought I'd get my ass beat by such a quiet kid like Mathieu but I guess big surprises come in little nerdy packages. Also, Matthias and Gilbert brought a shit load of bear as refreshments too. And yes we are underage. But it's not like you, a book, can do crap about it. And don't think I'm addicted or anything I mean I was going to say no but well… let's just say a certain Asian douche-bag-of-a-best-friend influenced otherwise. After maybe… two glasses or so? Or was it twelve? I don't know. So anyways I was challenged to an ice skating race by some blonde idiot named Alfie or Alfred or something like that. I WAS going to say no but said yes for the same reason I had said yes to the alcohol. DBOABF strikes again! But as I clearly stated my opponent WAS an idiot. For 1.) Thinking he can skate yet he can't even stand on them. And 2.) For challenging me. I don't remember much… NOT because I was drunk, but because my memory is um FOGGY when I'm having a good time! …Don't think of that sentence in a perverted way. Please ….I can sure get off topic huh? Then again, you ARE a book so this is probably the highlight of your week am I wrong? In the end of my wondrous tale of stupidity in its Icelandic form, I won! … Then jumped and down screaming forgettable profanity at the idiot, cracked through the ice, and almost went completely under. Almost. Good thing good ol' DBOABF has quick reflexes… So yup that's my 2013 Single's Awareness Day story in like three hundred words._

_Now… what was I writing about last time? …Sorry for the writing pause there, Mr. Book. I was just rereading my last entry from a few days ago. Wow, I sure sound like a ditz. Oh well, it's not like anyone besides me and you, Mr. Book Thing, are reading this right? Right? RIGHT? Wow off topic… again. This entry about the many discoveries I've learned about my best friend is how I learned he is a terrible role model. Just like all my unlucky life lessons, I had to learn this one the hard way. Why am I cursed in this way? Because I mustn't have been puked up on by any of the Shichi Fukujin (the seven Chinese gods of good luck) or whatever the hell Yao preaches about. Anyways, yeah he doesn't set the greatest examples for me especially, which raises the question why are we friends? Well if you were expecting some kind of answer from me then suck it because I don't really know either. Maybe because…_

"DAMNIT! EEEMMMMIIIILLLLL!"

Said white-haired teen, who so happened to be walking down the hall, ducked as book flew at where his head once was. His scared-to-total-freaking-death blue eyes shot a quick glance at the book on the floor. 'The Cod Wars' was engraved on the front cover. This immediately made a sigh leak out of his mouth as he glanced up into the cold eyes of Arthur. He was a gigantic knitting and sewing fanatic, failure at cooking, loud and prickly kind of guy. To say the least, they didn't get along ever since Emil had transferred to the school himself. It first started with them being paired together in home economics class (also known as Family and Consumer Science class) as cooking partners in the first year. For now let's just say that the best grade the two ever got were F-'s and yes, they have received LOWER grades before. Then later in the year the two got in a big fight when learning about the Cod Wars in history class since both were extremely patriotic to their homelands. Arthur gripped onto his shirt collar and gave him a fail glare that looked more like he was constipated. Up close, Emil noticed that he seemed a little bit… darker.

"Why the hell did you bomb my locker, fishy boy?" The ash-covered blonde held up a small TNT casing that had 'Emil' written in pen across the top. Surprisingly, the handwriting was a lot similar to Emil's. But he still wasn't the one that did it.

"I didn't do it. Why would I bomb your locker and have my name on a piece of the evidence? Then you'd know it was me and I'd get in trouble. That'd be the stupidest thing to do in the world."

"Well duh, that's why I think YOU did it."

"Ohh BURN!" A crowd was beginning to surround the two. The crowd began to rile up. "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" they cheered with all their might. As Arthur was getting more and more enflamed, Emil took a moment to scan the faces of the crowd in hope that Lukas wasn't around. Big mistake. While he was turned away, Arthur had actually slapped him across the face. His hand made contact hit with a rather sickening crack that rebounded around the entire room. Well everything after that was history. No pun intended. Oh wait never mind it was intended. As a wrap up in general, many things were thrown. And broken. And torn. And yanked. And used as shields. And, in Arthur's case, shaved. Don't ask where Emil found the razor; just know that it was defiantly one of the best weapons he'd ever discovered against the Englishman. Not even ten minutes later though, both boys in the principal's office and were given 3 weeks detention. Yup fifteen afternoons of doing nothing. Starting today. Arthur was living/rotting out his detention in the principal's office while Emil was suffering his process of torture in the history class room. He obviously got the higher amount of luck by being in a detention room by himself while Arthur was with three other mischief-makers. He was just peacefully alone… for a small amount of time anyways.

"You have to stay in there for three hours, got it?" A teacher farther away yelled at some unfortunate person elsewhere.

"Whatever…" The voice was familiar.

As the door swung over in walked a certain teen that he'd met yesterday. Emil felt suddenly self-conscious. All alone. In a room. In detention. With Kaoru. He could have sworn that the awkwardness in the air was actually tangible. It felt like… whatever tangible awkwardness feels like. Before Kaoru could notice him, he slipped back behind a random history book shelf. He couldn't be seen and if he was he could just say he was studying. Anyways, it seemed at first as though the Kaoru didn't notice him since he sat down on a random desk and used the chair as a foot rest. After a few minutes he let out a loud sigh.

"Hiding isn't very attractive you know." Damn he knew he was there… No use in pretending.

"I'm not hiding; I'm just uh… studying."

"Well… that's you're a first, Icey. I've never met a man who verbally admits that he studies porn." Immediately Emil jerked his head to look at the nearest book shelf near to his head. Damn it. Damn it all. Emil dashed out from behind the bookshelf almost tripping on a chair and successfully knocking it over, making a loud bang. He was oh so very smooth. Yes, he was indeed the term 'swag' in a nutshell. A tight suffocating one at that. He glared at the other who was smirking at him but as he could feel on his face he was failing miserably. At least he didn't make mightily constipated expressions like certain British people.

"Shut up." He growled seething in embarrassment.

"Aww, Icey, you wound me so much." Replied a mocking monotone.

"Stop calling me Icey."

"It fits you perfectly. So no."

"Look in this really cool thing called a mirror sometime."

"Ugh, you're so annoying."

"Thanks I've been workin' on it."

"Yeah, I can tell… what are you doing?" Emil questioned as the other room occupant stood up from his spot.

"Sneaking out." He replied in casual yet bored tone of voice that sounded as if breaking rules was the most casual thing ever. Especially on the second day of school. Then again chances are that, in Kaoru's case, this IS casual…

"…no comment…"

"Oh… good, help me open this air vent." Kaoru replied still rather bored while standing up on chair that he had placed on a chair

'"…What makes you think I'm going to help you with this?"

"What makes you think you won't help me with this?" He leaned closely into Emil's face. The albino reddened considerably but maintained his ground. He wasn't going to crack that easily… or at least he hoped.

"Stop staring at me." As told, Kaoru sighed and backed off to lean against the wall.

"It's people like you that kill fun… such a disappointment…" Kaoru sighed with exaggerated dejection while twirling a firecracker around his finger to think up some way he could get his soon-to-be partner in crime to come along with him.

"Don't speak like I'm not in the room-" He cut himself off when he noticed the firecracker. In several seconds they were both on the floor as Emil found himself pinned on top of the other teen. "YOU DID IT! YOU'RE THE REASON WHY I'M STUCK HERE!" He screamed and to be honest he really wasn't sure where his anger came from but decided to go with the flow.

"Dude, what are you talking about…?" Kaoru asked curiously before sliding his hands out from Emil's grasp and lacing them behind his head. This frustrated the Icelander.

"Don't even fricken DARE play stupid."

"I'm not playing stupid." In a matter of seconds, they rolled as Kaoru pinned him face down into the floor, placed his knee down harshly on his back and held a lit match at his neck. Where he got the match and lit it so quickly, Emil will never ever know. The little flame glittered dangerously close to his skin. "Speak." The monotone command was very hushed yet serious.

"I'm stuck in detention because someone bombed Arthur's locker, he blamed me, we got in a fight, and I shaved his eyebrows. He thought it was me because my name was written on it but it sure as hell wasn't me. Why would it be me? I don't know nor do I give a fuck. Now, get. The. Hell. Off." As a silence settled in Kaoru smirked to himself.

"And suddenly, it all makes sense… thanks a lot Yong Soo"

"No, no it doesn't!" Emil squirmed as the heat danced dangerously close to his skin.

"Yeah well, I got in trouble for sneaking out of class. Since I was stuck in detention I was going to ask my older brother to be my accomplice in breaking out but I guess he was being a lazy ass and put someone else up to the job. Who would've thought it'd be you?" As he explained his reasoning, Kaoru stoked his fingers through the Icelander's hair while thinking which thoroughly embarrassed Emil to the core.

Suddenly the door opened and a teacher stormed in. Shit just got serious.

"Hey, boy, what are you doing to that other student!? GET OFF HIM! Inappropriate conduct is not allowed in here, mister!" The teacher howled so loudly it must have echoed throughout the entire school. And to probably a lot of people, especially people who dwell in THIS school, it sounded wrong. Really wrong. At least there weren't that many people in the school at this time. The weight pressed into his back disappeared as did the flickering flame by his neck. Emil stood up immediately from the shock of embarrassment and when he looked up, he saw that Kaoru had darted up the chair on the desk and had actually managed to get into the air vent. The teacher that had walked in was yelling something to get the misbehaving student down which wasn't working of course. Kaoru sat along the edge swinging his feet just barely over the teacher's head to mock him.

Watching the acts of his fellow delinquent actually shocked him. It was as if it had shot some kind of adrenalin that coursed freely through him. A rush of excitement at the prospect of not caring about rules. He was raised learning to do as told so as instincts go, he did. But this time something snapped in him and shifted his thoughts around. He didn't need rules and he could do as he pleased. He wouldn't dare stand still when he realized that he could shape his life the way he wanted it. A newly found freedom that came from who knows where. And because of that, he ran. He wasn't sure when he decided to run, he just knew that he did. Nor was he sure when he'd jumped up on to the chair and latched on to the vent either but he did that too. When he was pulled up by his new reference of mischief, his mind was going a mile a minute and wasn't stopping anytime soon. Millions of words were spluttered at the two from about seven feet from the ground yet he found himself laughing along as if it were the funniest thing he'd ever heard. And in this exact moment his point of view changed. Not forever but for the situation. The rest of their escape was rather fuzzy in his memories as they'd managed to escape the school and pull a few more pranks such as bombings and other torture methods.

This is where a new future turn had been taken for him. A future of songs that consisted stressed themes, learning the ways of street life, knowledge of what happens in the darker corners of the earth and even a bit of self-defense. If you'd asked the Emil of long ago about himself he probably wouldn't have even scratched the surface of his newly found knowledge, but now he became someone of a current day. Now he'd probably mention playing the sick game to escape school with Kaoru or spray painting the rougher city alley ways and hanging with people that probably declined his innocent nature. But the number one thing he'd mention is that it was fun. Every single moment ignited the more deleterious desires of his mind. This didn't concern anyone too much considering that his love for trouble was a secret to the open world. He and Kaoru worked as more of a team really. Emil would help or tag along for the hell of whatever Kaoru did and Kaoru took the punishment whole heartedly. Because of course, being an insane pyro and all, he would never ever deny the thrill of giving people hell. As partners in crime, anyone would be able to tell that they suited each other in a strange yet obvious way. This life was just so much fun. And it started all because of a bad role model should have never met.

…_Sorry was I drifting off into thought there? Whatever, I have little left to write any more for boredom took its toll. G'night, Mr. Book Thing._

_~Emil._

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So um... yeah. Review and tell me what mistakes I've made or if there are any weird time confusions (I think there might be) since I kept changing around todays and yesterdays and first and second years. I'll try and update this again very soon! HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!

Disclaimer: I own nothing besides my own writing.


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